Song Lyrics: Mother Virgin Mary

Song Lyrics: Mother Virgin Mary
Songwriter: Dan Vi Nguyen

CHORUS
Promise from heaven
That when I go there
I'll hold the rosary for Mother Virgin Mary
Heaven oi, heaven oi,
You touch my heart with the rosary.

VERSE
Mother Virgin Mary
You touch my heart with the rosary on earth
From Fatima promised
The treasure from heaven
For those who recite the rosary.

VERSE
Mother Virgin Mary
The moment I realize your treasure
I hold on to your peace
By recite the rosary
And propogate your love through the rosary.

VERSE
Mother Virgin Mary
I'll come to you through the rosary
In my heart I sing your song
Immaculate heart
Purify my heart and soul.

Comment and suggestion for improvement on song lyric

Feel free to give comment and suggestion for improvement on song lyrics.

Mother, Virgin Mary, Through Your Rosary: lyrics suggestions

Dan, do you have a rough idea of a time signature and a melody for your song? It is hard to review the lyrics without setting the words to a tempo and beat.

As songwriters, we try to tell a good story with words that are easy to understand. The words must flow and follow a natural speaking style, with stressed and unstressed syllables – this is called prosody.

As I read your lyrics, I cannot easily fit them into a meter. Also, some words should be changed so they have better meaning in English. I was not familiar with any meaning of "oi" other than an expression of disgust meant to get another person's attention. I now see that oi in Portuguese means hello or hi. Please tell us what "oi" means to you when you say "Heaven oi."

Here are some suggestions for your lyrics. I have tried to create more even phrases and have tried to add a bit of rhyming. I suggest a new name for the song: Through Your Rosary.

Through Your Rosary

CHORUS
A promise from heaven:
That we will go there
If we hold God close through prayer.
O Mother, Virgin Mary,
Draw us to the mysteries,
Guide us through your rosary!

VERSE

Dear Mother, Virgin Mary,
You know your Son's power.
At Fatima you promised
Treasures from heaven.
May graces be upon us!

CHORUS

VERSE

Dear Mother, Virgin Mary,
Protect us from evil.
We cherish God's peace
And propagate God's love
Through your rosary beads.

CHORUS

VERSE

Dear Mother, Virgin Mary,
Immaculate Heart,
We ask you to intercede
To help purify our souls
In our hour of need.

Edit 5/3/2016 – To Dan Vi Nguyen: I have sketched out chords for the song and will upload a demo, for your consideration.

Richard Schletty | Schletty Design and Music | www.schletty.com

Demo Song Lyric: Through Your Rosary

First of all, I really appreciate your effort to work on my song lyric.

Secondly, you are right about the word "oi" meaning "hi" in my language, Vietnamese.  I came from motherland Vietnam, and I think of the music tone that how we call each other.  

I thankful for correct my song lyric, and that you are welcome to do demo for the song lyric.

Can you also post the lead sheet for the song.

Heaven O'i

I will put the phrase "Heaven O'i" back into the song. I understand how important it is to you as a cultural expression. I will post a song demo with a lead sheet.

You wrote: "I think of the music tone that how we call each other."

What do you mean by music tone? I read that in Vietnamese, syllables can have six different tones. Should o'i be said with a rising tone?

Richard Schletty | Schletty Design and Music | www.schletty.com

Demo Song Lyric: Through Your Rosary

Well, you don't put it back to the song lyric, it probably makes no sense in English.  Just go with the flow of the song that you feel best for the song.

I really the version of the song that you edit, especially "Dear Mother, Virgin Mary."

Through Your Rosary: audio demo

Here is my rough audio demo:

So many possibilities with music styling!

Through Your Rosary (v3)

VERSE 1    
    C      Fmaj7         C   G
You made a promise to us all:
     Am     Em      F   G
That graces we will gain
C     Am7       Em  Am7
If we pray your rosary,
      F     G    F     C  
Sweet roses on a chain.

CHORUS
     Cmaj7          Dm   G
Dear Mother, Virgin Mary,
Am             Em
Draw us to the mysteries,
Dm       Am     Em      Am7
Guide us on our journey
   Dm     Em      F      G
To Heaven o'i, to Heaven high
F            Dm7  F  C
Through your rosary.

VERSE 2
     C       Fmaj7   Dm7   G
Such visions seen at Fatima
    Am   Em        F    G
And all around the world
C        Am7      Em Am7
Bring us hope and healing
        F     G           F    C 
Through Jesus Christ, Our Lord.

CHORUS

VERSE 3
   C       Fmaj7    Dm7   G
Protect us from all evil.
    Am      Em       F    G
You are the Queen of Peace.
      C    Am7        Em      Am7
We'll propagate God's endless love
F            G      F     C 
Through your rosary beads.

CHORUS

VERSE 4
C         Fmaj7     Dm7  G
Blest are you, dear Mary,
   Am       Em   F   G
We pray you intercede
   C   Am7    Em        Am7
To purify our minds and souls
F      G       F     C 
In our hour of need.

CHORUS

Dan Vi Nguyen and Richard Schletty, 2016

Here is a partial demo I posted at YouTube:

Richard Schletty | Schletty Design and Music | www.schletty.com

Song Lyric: Through Your Rosary

I love your voice.

Glad you like it

Dan, I hope my song sketch gives you some ideas. There are still some things that could be improved. I tried several different melodies, tempos and stylings. Perhaps there are too many verses. I hope other people feel free to comment. I am open to critique. Maybe we can find another collaborator!

Are you hoping to record the song? Do you have a way to record voices and instruments? What music mixing and sequencing programs do you have? Let me know what your goals are. I like music collaboration. Thank you again for posting your beginning lyrics. I hope I have not strayed too far from your vision for the song. 

Richard Schletty | Schletty Design and Music | www.schletty.com

Comment viewing options

Select your preferred way to display the comments and click "Save settings" to activate your changes.